Harry Potter and the Badly Written Rhyme

Potter, Harry,
Quite contrary,
How does your series grow?

With magic spells
And potion smells,
And little wands all in a row.

Deathly Hallows
Surely follows
Goblets and Princes and more;

I've just begun
The reading fun:
Spoilers, away from my door!

Spring Has Its Ups and Downs

One gate won't open, one won't close:
Spring has sprung, and the ground done rose.
This whole darn city's built on gumbo--
Whoever put it here was dumbo.

Upon the completion of the annual skating show

A daughter who skates is a fine thing, you think--
Until you spend seven straight days at the rink.

Why Viagra doesn't advertise on airships

While airships of non-rigid type
Dominate the airship field
Then no amount of airship hype
Will make a single airplane yield.

For what man wants to fly a blimp,
In preference to something rigid?
The rhyme for blimp, alas, is "limp."
The rhyme for rigid--rigid.

A poem from the slush pile

If you think spring means pretty flowers,
Singing birds and all that mush,
Come visit old Saskatchewan,
Where spring mostly means slush.

The Imbibing Poet

The imbibing poet imbibes at his peril:
His rhythm may wobble, his rhymes may go feral,
Escape and demolish their end-of line spots,
Form up into packs and devour his thoughts.

'Bots, boughts, cots, dots, gots, hots, jots, lots,
Naughts, nots, pots, rots, sots, tots...aargh!

Springing

Spring is springing,
Snow is melting,
Birds are singing--
Heck, they're belting!

Global warming may be bad,
But hemispheric warming? Rad!

A Rhyme for Poem

Does poem rhyme with home?
Does poem rhyme with foam?
Does poem rhyme with loam?
Doe poem rhyme with tome?
Does poem rhyme with comb?
Does poem rhyme with dome?
Does poem rhyme with gnome?
Does poem rhyme with roam?
Does poem rhyme at all?
You poets make the call!

Walter Twiddle Returns!

The months flash past like speeding swallows,
And while you wait for Deathly Hallows,
Stop here a while and rest your brain
As Walter Twiddle blogs again!

A daily scribble I will post
(Unless my brain gives up the ghost).
A teeny-tiny bit of rhyme
(I'm sure that I can find the time).

So welcome back to Twiddleblog,
Where doggerel is all we've got:
With eye of newt and toe of frog
We stir it up and serve it hot!

Once Upon a Time a Poet Made a Rhyme

Once upon a time
A poet made a rhyme:
Not a song that you could sing,
Just a simple little thing.

It sat upon his blog
Like a bump upon a log,
And it made the poet sad,
And perhaps a little mad.

"Why does this poem just sit?
"It's not why it was writ.
"I thought that it would dance
"And inspire some romance!"

But still the poem just sat--
And that's all there is to that.

On Looking Into Google News, September 20, 2006

A poem built on a skeleton of phrases taken from Google News, Wednesday, September 20, approximately 4:30 p.m. CST

So Chavez calls the Thai coup leader
With a U.S. motto;
“Share the fatty fish consumption!”
Thousands bid farewell.

Citigroup and JP Morgan
May sue automakers:
Saddam’s judge throws out the suit.
Awards and music? Swell!

The Hungary prime minister
Enjoys E. coli spinach.
“You’ll die!” warn all the scientists.
But he replies, “I scoff!”.

And Zuma calls, as he is sentenced,
“Victories for all!”
(Plus “Stand pat, Reds!” and “Flee League Cup!”--
His brain’s a little off.)

A Simple Question from a Simple Man

Breathes there a man with soul so dead
Who never to himself has said,
"Oh what a perfect world 't'would be
"If giant plasma screens were free!"?

On Looking Into Google News, September 19, 2006

A poem built on a skeleton of phrases taken from Google News, Tuesday, September 19, 10:45 a.m. CST

Thai military has declared first real emergency;
Americans arrive prepared to help busted Willie.
Protestors storm, and then demand--an outcry over fate:
And Rice says, "Race a factor!" in Israeli army hate.

As Gordon weakens, McCain fights with oil, gas stocks mixed:
Motorola is set but Microsoft steps in--all nixed.
The UK underestimated: drug cocktails help;
Bush is to meet "Light-Fingered Smith," but calls him "silly whelp."

The space tourist who's female says, "How was the spinach? Bad?"
The UN Gen'ral Assembly hears Ahmadinejad.
With Duquense shootings likely Anna Nicole pockets cash.
And "Google news," health ministry warns, "can sometimes cause a rash."

A Snowball's Chances Are Actually Pretty Good Right Now

Although I am not one to curse
It seems to me there's little worse
That needs a hearty heck-and-darning
Than a summer night's frost warning.

11:52 p.m., September 18
Temperature: 0 degrees Celsius

Fair warning!

"The time has come," the blogger said,
"To blog some poems once more;
"For far too long this blog's been dead,
"But just today a comment read
"Within my email made me think
"There're readers at the door!"

So let this be a warning fair that
Walter Twiddle's still alive,
And, very much like some thought-dead rat
Scutterin 'cross the kitchen floormat
Twiddle's rhymes can not be killed
Though they may stink, they thrive!